請采納我的問題

1、一個女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的訂婚戒指，但竟沒有一個同學註意到，令她忿忿不平。到下午大傢坐著談天的時候，她突然站起來大聲說：“哎呀，這裡真熱呀，我看我還是把戒指脫下來吧。”2、女主人把女傭叫到面前問她：“你是否懷孕瞭？”“是啊！”女傭回道。“虧你還說得出口，你還沒有結婚，難道不覺得害羞嗎？”女主人再次訓。“我為什麼要害羞，女主人你自己不也懷孕瞭嗎？”“可是我懷的是我丈夫的！”女主人生氣地反駁。“我也是啊！”女傭高興地附和。3、一個人騎摩托車喜歡反穿衣服，就是把口子在後面扣上，可以擋風。一天他酒後駕駛， 翻瞭，一頭栽在路旁。警察趕到：警察甲：好嚴重的車禍。警察乙：是啊，腦袋都撞到後面去瞭。警察甲：嗯，還有呼吸，我們幫他把頭轉回來吧。警察乙：好.....一、二使勁，轉回來瞭。警察甲：嗯，沒有呼吸瞭.......4、在一條七拐八拐的鄉村公路上，因為時常發生車禍，所以常常有一些鬼故事發生，有一天晚上，有一個出租車司機看見路邊有一個長發披肩，身著白衣的女人向他招手，因為這個司機沒有見過鬼，所以大膽的停下來讓她上車瞭，這一路上,司機雖然不信有鬼，心裡也毛毛的，所以時常從後視鏡看後面的女人，開著開著，突然司機發現那個女人不見瞭！司機嚇瞭一大跳，趕緊踩瞭一個剎車！隻見那個女人滿臉是血，表情猙獰。司機嚇的牙直打顫。突然那女人開口瞭：“你會不會開車啊！我低頭系個鞋帶你突然一剎車我把鼻子都撞破瞭……”5、一個病人去看病，醫生檢查瞭他，皺著眉頭說：“您病得太嚴重瞭，恐怕不會活多久瞭。” 病人：“求您告訴我我還能活多久？” 醫生：“十……” 病人著急地問：“十什麼？十年？？十個月？？？十天？？？？？” 醫生：“十，九，八，七，六，五……”6、老師：“你能說一些18世紀科學傢共同特點嗎？”學生：“能，他們都死瞭。”7、犀糞蜣和蚊子談戀愛，蜣問蚊子是做什麼工作的，蚊子說：“護士，打針的。”蜣一拍大腿：“緣分吶，我是中藥局搓藥丸的…”8、一非洲人住在某一賓館。夜半，起火，不明原因。非洲人見狀顧不瞭那麼許多，光著身子就跑出去瞭。消防員見狀驚呼：“我的媽呀！都燒的糊瞭吧區的瞭還能跑那麼快！”9、一個人想出國考察，但必須得到老總批準。於是他向老總請示，老總給瞭他一張字條，上面寫著：“Go ahead”。 那人想：“Go ahead=前進，老總是批準瞭。”於是他開始打點行李。 一個同事見到瞭他問：“你在做什啊？？”他說：“我準備出國考察，老總批準瞭，給我寫瞭‘Go ahead’。” 同事一見條就樂瞭：“咱們老總根本就沒批準！！咱老總的英語水平你還不知道，他這是在說去個頭！”10、牧師對買瞭他馬和馬車的農夫說：“這匹馬隻能聽懂教會的語言，叫"感謝上帝"它就跑;叫"贊美上帝"它才停下。”農夫將信將疑，他試著喊瞭一聲感謝上帝，那匹馬立刻飛奔起來，越跑越快。一隻跑到懸崖邊上驚恐的農夫才想起讓它停下來的口令“贊美上帝”。果然，馬停下來瞭。死裡逃生的農夫長出一口氣：“感謝上帝………”

我打瞭很久，請采納

1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"

I played for a long time, please

狄更斯是十九世紀英國最偉大的作傢，他在自己的作品中，以高超的藝術手法，描繪瞭包羅萬象的社會圖景，塑造出眾多令人難忘的人物形象。他的三十多年來的創作生涯，為英國文學和世界文學作出瞭卓越的貢獻，他的代表作《雙城記》深刻描寫18世紀封建制度下日漸腐敗的歐洲貴族，鮮明地將貴族長期殘害百姓、草營人命的惡行公諸於世。狄更斯生動地刻畫出平民百姓受苦受難的悲慘生活。人民生活在困苦無助、饑寒交迫、貧病連連、受盡欺壓的困境中，他們心中鬱積瞭對貴族的刻骨深仇，終於引發瞭推翻政權、爭取自由的法國大革命。

在社會動蕩不安的年代裡，英、法兩國的關系更加緊張，頻繁來往英法兩國的人們，常常被懷疑為通風報信的間諜。巴黎最貧困的聖·安東尼區裡，匯集瞭許多窮苦的人民。酒店成為農民“雅客”的大本營。人民暗中商討對策、招兵買馬，進行著推翻政府的計劃。

殘暴的埃夫勒蒙德兄弟，以胡作非為、凌虐百姓而臭名昭著。身為埃夫勒蒙德傢族的查爾斯背負著傢族的歷史罪名。查爾斯與西德尼擁有諸多相似之處，甚至愛上同一名女子，為瞭女主角露西的幸福，西德尼寧可犧牲自己的生命。精神恍惚的曼內特醫生遭遇離奇，北塔105號暗藏玄機。《雙城記》深刻描繪瞭動蕩不安的時代背景，以及為歷史現實而犧牲的兒女情長。

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

我愛你，不是因為你是一個怎樣的人，而是因為我喜歡與你在一起時的感覺。

No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won‘t make you cry.

沒有人值得你流淚，值得讓你這麼做的人不會讓你哭泣。

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can‘t have them.

失去某人，最糟糕的莫過於，他近在身旁，卻猶如遠在天邊。

Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

縱然傷心，也不要愁眉不展，因為你不知是誰會愛上你62616964757a686964616fe4b893e5b19e31333233666130的笑容。

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

對於世界而言，你是一個人；但是對於某個人，你是他的整個世界。

Don‘t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn‘t willing to waste their time on you.

不要為那些不願在你身上花費時間的人而浪費你的時間。

Just because someone doesn‘t love you the way you want them to, doesn‘t mean they don‘t love you with all they have.

愛你的人如果沒有按你所希望的方式來愛你，那並不代表他們沒有全心全意地愛你。

Don‘t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

不要著急，最好的總會在最不經意的時候出現。

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

在遇到夢中人之前，上天也許會安排我們先遇到別的人；在我們終於遇見心儀的人時，便應當心存感激。

Don‘t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

不要因為結束而哭泣，微笑吧，為你的曾經擁有。

If you love someone， let it be and set him／her free，if he／she comes back to you，it"s meant to be.

如果你愛一個人，隨遇而安，讓他／她自由的飛，如果最後他／她還是回到你身邊，那就是命中註定的。